2014 really seemed like a very long year didn’t it? By the end of it I was feeling pretty drained and burnt out so I decided to take a few weeks away from the things that I felt were making me feel bleh and concentrate on things that I really enjoyed doing instead. James and I sat down together and actually talked about what we didn’t like about 2014 and what we wanted to do about it in 2015. I was in a really introspective kind of mood and it felt like the more things I thought about myself, the more I realised that I wasn’t necessarily loving the direction I was going in.
We realised that one of the biggest problems I had was separating work and home life. For the last 7+ years I’ve been working a LOT. I was pulling 12 hour days every day and working weekends but it never felt like I was actually on top of anything because I really wasn’t. Not having set work hours meant that I had no reason to properly plan anything out or to set guidelines for how long things should take because I was constantly doing them… but nothing really seemed to get done because I was always over tired and not running at full brain power.
So that was the first thing to change. I now have set work ours from 10-6 like a “regular” job and I’m not working weekends either! I’ve been doing this for the last 3 weeks and it’s really helped me focus a lot more on goals and projects I want to get done. It also means there is a set time to relax and let my brain wind down enough to rest properly at night. Yay!
With that in mind I started to think about what I wanted to do with myself a little more and realised my blog (and really myself) had turned into a a finely tuned content manufacturing machine. I love tutorials but the rate that I was working them last year (2 videos, 4 posts, social media bonuses, the VLB and sometimes vlogs as well) was not something that I could keep up with forever without burning out. I just don’t have the kind of outgoing personality required for doing that without feeling uncomfortable >_< So this year I’m want to continue doing tutorials because I love them but I will only be doing tutorials that I LOVE. I’m not going to be working to a schedule of X many posts or videos a week because when I do that, things become forced and the end product isn’t what I want it to be. I’m going to write about the things that I want to write about without worrying about other people’s reactions.
This year I want to concentrate my efforts onto being happier. I want to love what I do every day. Obviously loving EVERYTHING is unrealistic and sounds like hippy crap but I want to at least not feel like I’m falling into bed at night dreading the next morning >_> I’m really tired of being tired!
I also want to try new things and diversify a bit. I don’t want to feel like I’m being stagnant and just doing the same things over and over again because that’s what other people want me to do. I have a habit of focusing all of my energy onto one thing and not being able to see anything around me so I want to branch out of my comfort zone more and try some completely different things.
This is probably the longest and most thoughtful post I’ve written in years and I feel really happy about it. The changes that I’ve been making have had such a positive effect so far and I feel re-energised. Since I started this blog what feels like a billion years ago, it’s had so many incarnations and focuses and the one constant has been you guys who are reading this. I really appreciate all the support you’ve given me in reading my blog and I hope you’ll continue to like what you see in the new re-energised Violet.
So 2015, bring it on because I’m excited to see what you have ^_^
